The super secret movie is out - but not too far out. No spoilers!


I said I'd review Watchmen. I lied. But instead, I have a story of racism, satire and the human condition.
And really, really cool special effects. With aliens. Hoyeah.

District 9, from the actual filming angle, is a mixture of documentary, handheld rattle and roll, and your usual movie camera. The different styles worked together seamlessly to my eye (and hamster-like brain), while the news clips and interviews built up both the characters and their world. Which, just to say, is one where a space craft halted inexplicably over Johannesburg in the 80's, hung around doing a disturbing amount of nothing, then was cut open to reveal a starving, sickly population of aliens. These clawed, tentacled, mandibled, antennaed and unusually upholstered (segmented exoskeleton, yes plz) creatures are then "rescued" by the good folks at MNU, a not-at-all sinister global corporation. The prawns, as they're soon dubbed, are placed in a refugee camp (that title one) that gradually, as tensions build between the aliens and surrounding human population, becomes a squalid walled in ghetto, lorded over by Nigerian gangs who exploit the aliens, selling them meat and catfood (their favorite) in return for weapons of incredible power - that, to the frustration of the human race, are biologically tuned to only work in the hands of the prawns. Hoho, gotcha. Now cough up the Whiskas.
In the present day we're introduced to Wikus van der Merwe, (say it Vickus) an MNU cog who's eager, somewhat naive and, typical of this reality, a condescending racist jerkoff in concern to the local crustaceans. His father in law and employer at MNU has given him the job of leading the movement to relocate the prawns to District 10, a "newer, bigger, better" camp farther from the city. However, an accident in District 9 will tear Wikus' world to pieces and lead him to question everything he thinks he knows about the nonhumans - and himself.
Wikus is played by first time actor Sharlto Copley. I didn't know that until afterward, and it was a heck of a surprise - Wikus' journey is incredible to watch, both because of the emotional and physical intensity. Though the character we meet at the beginning of the movie is certainly contemptible at points, he's still sympathetic if only because of his ignorance and the terrible betrayal it leads to. The aliens themselves are really incredible - close up shots of bizarre golden eyes and fidgeting tentacles don't usually make for much, but here there's some very moving personality. Gore, alien guns and some grisly prosthetic work make up the remainder of movie magic. There were no obviously weird moments where the effects looked out of place, which is pretty impressive considering how much there was; this went a long way towards creating a believable reality, so much so that when we see Wikus trying to get signatures from bipedal seafood it's satire rather than just a joke. There are scenes like that, displaying a razor-sharp sense of hypocrisy and ironic giggle-making, and then there's ones that honestly disturb. The obvious message is there, but it's not being beaten in. The film is a story with a statement, rather than the other way around.

Overall - Buying it. Like the supreme special feature version. And that's coming from a starving student.
Gripe - Apparently not built off a set script, which could explain a slightly trimmed feeling - as if some extra developmental moments were snipped onto the cutting room floor.
Best Bit - Toughie. It made me love aliens again.*


*For the first time since Jar Jar Binks... it makes you feel so used.. *tear*


I will start updating this gallery eventually - right now life is INSANE, because, holy crap, in something like two weeks I'm actually going to university. That does not excuse the past... four months? But the quiet shall be broken, soon. Ish.
Thanks for reading, if you sat through it! Hope you enjoy the movie anyway .

What is that thing, crawling up out of the ooze? Holy Count Crapula, it's a frog with a latte*!

I will now attempt to summarize the gaping void that has been the last few months of artlessness in three bullets. Go.

1) I made a portfolio. It went to a university. A phone call back would be nice, sometime in April.

2) Our school has an art teacher, for reals. He's an actual artist as in he makes money, and is also an awesome guy. Pretty much the glorious shining sun of enlightenment to my eager knowledge-seeking brain-garden.

3) Spent St. Patty's evening with my best bud, soaking my hideously blistered feet in the tub whilst drinking Bailey's on some pebbles to numb the pain. A good night, besides the rupturing. Oh sweet leprechauns jigging on toadstools, the rupturing.

NEXT TIME - WATCHMEN. WATCH THEM.

*skimhalfsweetcinnamondolceplz.

<sub>OR, You Can Buy Anything In Gatwick

ALSO, Now I Know Who Dies And Am NOT Happy About It</sub>

Well. Italy was cool (in a way that means it was very very hot, and what the HECK is with our travel plans? Can't we ever manage to go somewhere that's NOT having a massive heat wave for the first time in years?!?). Fun stuffs:

-Fudding pigeons in St. Mark's Square (and not getting shat on)

-Teaching a grade twelve American girl (gonna be a surgeon, according to her mummy) how to open a scampi

-Walking Palatine Hill with Ian from Glasgow

-Totally burning feet on astroturf while playing soccer in three languages by the sea (JE PARLER EN FRANCAIS!!!!!*)

-Being in field of MASSIVE Tuscan sunflowers

There were a lot more, right, but whatevar etc. As an honorable mention, hearing my German uncle describe "de froots und de wedgetables" was pretty great.

Rome sits around 37 degrees plus, so we conked out to read in the afternoon - I found a Jack the Ripper book, and it was okay. Blamed it all on a poor dead guy named Walter Sickert. But he did some wicked art, and looking through those other British School guys like Leighton and Edwin Landseer totally appeals to my inner uberartdork. Artwise I've been feeling really shaky and gross for months now (explaining big fat lack of new stuff) and I'm hoping checking out some of this stuff (and a couple new ideas that could work with it) will help right me out! Hopefully. Until later, folks!


<sub>*btw in case is not obvious, AH CARNT SHPEEK FRINCH**

**or shmitalian</sub>

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In more sombre news, mon petit lapin has passed on. He joins his gay lover in a tastefully decorated San Franciscan loft, and will be missed for his gimlet eyes, soft neck hair, and those sharp and pointy teeths.

This past week/month in my sketchbook.

Somewhere around Spring Break, I: Drew a wulf. Was not so great, so turned the page. Drew a girl. Also not so great. Dumped sketching.

Later (But still around SB): Decided to learn to draw wolves right. Drew two. Second one bit better, was encouraged, drew paws. Paws were pretty gross, so drew a guy. Guy was pretty gross too, so drew another wolf - third wolf not so hot as second one, so dumped sketching.

Later again: Filled page with guys. Added pleasingly plumpy Asian grandmother character, because brother was watching the God-smacking American Dragon. Realized was major stereotype (and ugful, can't draw nice old ladies), so stopped and drew girl. Could not draw an Asian face, so stopped. Guy faces were sick anyhow.

After Spring Break: Page of wolves, and ferret because friend with natural-hair-toque owns one and has strange dreams about it. Wolves look a) like foxes, b) kind of okay, or c) stoned. A little scribbly one was nice.

Also then: Watched Ghost and the Darkness , drew lions. Lions actually not all that bad - but pushed luck and tried to draw more. First ones still okay though. On way back from grandparents saw insanely cool cloud thing, drew in the dark but still fun. Otherwise, page totally blank! *paper wasting glee*

At home: Tried to draw guys. Did not finish face of one, but the other looked depressish. Turned page. Drew girl, was very gross, drew another one. Erased lips endlessly, before dumping sketching.
Later, jawline, unfinished guy, two very unhappy arms.

Blank page of mystery.

Last... week's: Halfy page of people. One old man, not so great. One girl, looks like she has a very unpleasant personality or has smelled something really disgusting. Drew guy either crying into hands or with extremely bad headache (that may be making him cry into his hands), but did not finish.

Art P: Blew brain artery thinking about what to do for art project. So drew goats (can't draw goats, btw) shepherdess girl, and shepherdess girl being dead/eaten. Considered counseling, but like student help teacher too much. So drew lion-things instead - one and a halfish. Were weird.

Persons: Was watching Criminal Minds, and drew the blond agent girl to get out of unable-to-draw-own-gender funk. Actually worked - though she looks like a twelve year old with boobs. Half-drew some more girls, and guy, and tried for that Hannibal Rising actor - none too good. Also drew disembodied smile - left it there when got irritated and hormonal.

Uglee: Weird geometrical hands - uck. Wolf - okay until eyes. Guys - still pretty gross. One arm not so bad, but face clinched failage. Turned page and tried to get Hannibal Rising kid's spidery body down, but did not. Also scribbled dog - was okay. Next page = face, half-assed wolf.

Next page: Tried to draw people kissing (was trying not to be pervy and sitting around watching couples). Pretty sick.

Friend: Drew pally undercover as Mexican Oddjob. Turned page when got home, drew girl faces that were bad, then bad girl bodies to go with. And page of guys. Pretty much all were disgusting - one not so bad. Drew monster, and monster hand - much love. Also drew guy hands that were fun and funklyful. Next page, more monsters! Couple of wolves, not so good. But monsters bigger, so could safely ignore. Moseyed through sketchbook, drew hood eating person (it was HUGE), girl that's probably the best I've ever ever done, and not so good girl and hand. And a guy in a Hazmat suit holding a kid over a bucket with tongs. It was Science class.

Easter Afterglow: Brother got Avatar DVDs for Easter, so tried to draw Avatar poses. Uck. Dropped down to just violence, and drew guy getting elbowed in chest - actually liked a lot until I got to the guy doing the elbowing. Love died, so drew guy getting kicked in face. Gratuitous blood spray. Then turned page and drew animal skulls, then Irish Elk skull. More skull animals on next page. And next page, plus dove for Mexican Oddjob friend. Then strange women, but not so bad. Next page was guys and bird skull wearing something. Was very fun, and totally got me Zenified.

Now you know.

It's been a while since I tortured someone. It occured to me that this situation should be fixed up as quickly as possible; so prepare for a ramble of mammoth proportions. FLEE!!!

First: I actually do have stuff to upload. Really. Really really.

Second: Oh, holy wows, the first Blacksad is fantastic too. I couldn't even pretend that I'm worthy of it. People like me don't dare review things like that. *worships*

Third: Spirited Away is incredible. Hayao Miyazaki is proof that anime can be real art, and now I have a buddy to watch his movies with! LEIK OMG AFF!!*

Fourth: Those Hannibal Rising trailers both make me want to throw up into my skull behind my eyes, just so I don't have to watch them, and see it really bad. Wonder how that works.

Last, I swear: For anyone who knows of my rabbit, (the one who cannot die, for his hatred of all other living things sustains him) he is soon to be eight years old. That's three years longer than that maximum they told my dad, which, according to my new vet who DIDN'T KILL MY DOG, makes him very, very old. And he just got his teeth clipped, which makes them extra sharp, and he's apparently grown a little, pointy, "supernumerary"** tooth. If he was an action figure, he would be the Commando Dwarfie, Model 8, With Supernumerary Combat Tooth Accessory, Die-Cast Doom Fangs and 6 Trillion Points of Violent Articulation. Warning: Is not intended for small children. Has been known to cause a bloody death hazard. $12.99 plus tax, coming to a store near you!

I'll go draw something now. If you're still reading, I'm very, very sorry for any damage your brain may have suffered. I don't know much first aid, so the only way I can help you now is to stuff paper tissues up your nose to keep your butchered brain from leaking down through it. GO AND SEE A DOCTOR!!

*Anime Friends Forevar. Now we do the super-secret handshake.
**I'm guessing this means it has super math skills. This could be wrong. Just maybe.